Have you ever made a decision that completely changed your life. I don’t mean like you change your job, or you met some new friends. I’m meaning all of that and more. About a month ago, I did just that…
I literally took my life and flipped it up side down. I moved to a completely different city, one that I moved away from 7 years earlier, leaving the life that I had built where I was. I did this because me and the girl that I was with decided to separate after 6 and a half years of being together. Big change.
We were living in a very small town, 1 store and maybe about 4000 people during the winter time, and I wanted to meet new people, start climbing again, and really, just start completely fresh. I figured that “if my life was going to change, I was going to dramatically change it”. But a funny thing happened when I did all this; life threw me a few curve balls that I didn’t expect and never even thought would happen.
So what have I done with all this???
I ended up bouncing around for about a month trying decide where I really wanted to go. What did I really want to do. It’s almost like I was lost for a month. The game plan that I had when I decided to move here didn’t fall into place as they normally do for me. Normally when I make this type of plan and take the action steps like I did, everything just flows easily.
But this time it didn’t. I just kept hitting walls and stumbling blocks. Nothing seemed to work out.
I thought that I would have my own place by now. But instead I’m crashing at some families house. I needed to buy a car but the car that I bought ended up being almost double what I’d originally planed to spend. That took my cash supply down quite a bit more than anticipated. So needless to say, life threw me for a big loop and I had to do something about it.
It actually wasn’t till yesterday that I finally made sense of it all. I realize that I was barking up the wrong tree. Let me explain that a bit…
The path that I was going down and the things that I was looking for were not in alignment with my actual goals and dreams. I was heading off in some crazy direction that I thought would teach me a lot and was along the line of where I wanted to go but it totally wasn’t.
And you want to know the funny thing of it all???
During this whole time that I was barking at this other tree, I was more stressed and freaking out than I’ve been in years. I mean sleepless nights, panicking, mind wondering and not being able to focus, being late to meet people, it was just nuts.
So two days ago after driving over 200km (125miles) all over the valley here I made the decision that by the next morning I would have an answer to all this crap and have would have figured out where I wanted to go. Then that night I had a 3+ hour long conversion with my mom about everything that was going on and the issues that I was facing and the things that were coming up for me.
By the end of the night, I had thought that I had made my decision, I wasn’t a big fan of it and there were some major issues with it around my cash flow but I figured it was the best solution for me at the time. But it wasn’t.
The next morning (yesterday) I was driving into town (I’m staying just outside of town at the moment) to meet a good long time friend of mine and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I started thinking about my life and what I really wanted and I realized that if I went with the option that I had decided upon the night before, I would be going against my goals and dreams. It would have almost derailed me and I didn’t even know that I was going to do this.
And not only that but an option came up to me that I’d never even put much thought into and it seemed to fit perfectly. And I mean perfectly. This new option would not only move me in the direction of what I wanted but it would be the easiest route.
So the bottom line of this all to me was actually a very big lesson that I felt I really needed to share with you. It was a lesson of knowing what you want and really paying attention how you feel around all of the options that are presented to you.
If you’re stressing out and freaking out like I was, there’s a very good chance that whatever you’re thinking about is not in alignment with what you’re truly wanting. You’re basically fighting swarm of bees with your hands and you’re not even hitting any of them. Their just pestering you and wont stop till you change your tactic.
Till next time…
Steven Downward, signing off.
Love you all.